Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
I love you mom, Words can not explain how much i appricate you and everything you do for me.
Happy Mother's Day Mom (=
Love Janay-nay
Friday, April 2, 2010
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Dementia Quiz
Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately .
OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's )
First Question :
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person.. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!
Try not to screw up nex t time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question :
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question :
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator .
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 .. Add another 1000 .. Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 .. Now add 10 .. What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you get 5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100 ...
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it ?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe....
Fourth Question :
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2.. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary you Dummy! Read the question again!
Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to
redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's really very simple
He opens his mouth and ask for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately .
OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's )
First Question :
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person.. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!
Try not to screw up nex t time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question :
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question :
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator .
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 .. Add another 1000 .. Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 .. Now add 10 .. What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you get 5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100 ...
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it ?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe....
Fourth Question :
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2.. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary you Dummy! Read the question again!
Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to
redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's really very simple
He opens his mouth and ask for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
THE SNEEZE
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing .. and the traditional caps, they looked almost .. as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the commencements----not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine.....until the final speech received a standing ovation.
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED !!!!
The student on stage.. simply looked at the audience and said,
'GOD BLESS YOU
And he walked off stage...
The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the commencements----not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine.....until the final speech received a standing ovation.
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED !!!!
The student on stage.. simply looked at the audience and said,
'GOD BLESS YOU
And he walked off stage...
The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Driving Test
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test, and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."
To this his father replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."
To this his father replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"
Monday, February 15, 2010
Happy Birthday to ME (=
Happy Birthday to me! I cant believe im already 17, wow! I cant wait to see whats instore for me this year (=
Thank's to my Family and Friends, for all the card's, text's and msg's.! I love you all!!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day
For God so lo (V) ed the world,
That He g (A) ve
his on (L) y
Begott (E) n
So (N)
(T) hat whosoever
Believeth (I) n Him
Should (N) ot perish,
But have (E) verlasting life."
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! I love you all very much!
Janay Kramer
That He g (A) ve
his on (L) y
Begott (E) n
So (N)
(T) hat whosoever
Believeth (I) n Him
Should (N) ot perish,
But have (E) verlasting life."
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! I love you all very much!
Janay Kramer
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My Life (=
Well, my life is CRAZY right now. I'm taking a computer class at the college. Its three hours long on tues and thur. Yes I know some of you are rolling your eyes wondering how I'm manging this class..( No Comment ) lol. I finished my algebra class, and am moving on to Business's math, and will be done with math this year. Next year I'm going to try and take a English class that counts for High school and college and I'm hoping to try and grad. early (= I'm also going to be taking a driving test soon (WATCH OUT!! (= ) Crystal is having a baby soon so I'm going to be working for her. I'm so exited about that! God has been using me and my family in many ways lately and i can not wait to see what else he has in store for me and my family. My birthday is next week, I can not believe that I'm going to be 17! WOOT WOOT (= lol Well that's just a little update on my life. be sure to comment (=
Love,
Janay
Love,
Janay
Monday, January 18, 2010
Can You Read This?
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. If you can raed tihs,lvaee a cmenomt!!!!
- Jnaay (=
- Jnaay (=
Quotes
1. Things do not change; We change.
2. Happiness depends upon ourselves.
3. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
4. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. (lol.. Agreed.)
5. In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed.
6. If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
7. Wisdom, begins in wonder.
8. Love is a canvas, furnished be nature and embroidered by imagination.
9. Live in the moment, before it leaves.
10. Take your heart and give it 101% to whatever you may do!
2. Happiness depends upon ourselves.
3. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
4. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. (lol.. Agreed.)
5. In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed.
6. If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
7. Wisdom, begins in wonder.
8. Love is a canvas, furnished be nature and embroidered by imagination.
9. Live in the moment, before it leaves.
10. Take your heart and give it 101% to whatever you may do!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Just Me
Well, New year's is almost here. I'm so excited! Although it seems like I was just getting to see 2009, 2010 is here weather I'm ready or not! I'm in college & high school,I'm starting to drive and I'm going to try and get a job and I will be 17... Wow!!
God has been good to me and my family, and I very grateful for it! I have the best parents, friends and family and church!
I love you- Dad, Mom, Jared, Joshua, and Garrett.
And my Friends- Alayna, Roza, Janay G., Becca H., Rebecca, Brenda, Krystal, Gentry, Drew, Anthony, Elizabeth, Erica, Jenn, Alice, Kearsti, Stacy, Lacy- Whew if I didn't get your name sorry! This is what came to my mind first lol I love you to (=
My Uncle's and aunt's- Nana and Papa- Grandma Jocie, and Lowis.
I love you all, Happy New Year's!!!!
Love,
Janay Kramer
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas ♥
We Wish You a Merry Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...
Merry Christmas everybody, I ♥ you all (=
Love,
Janay Kramer
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving (=
LOL- Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
What I'm Thankful For:
My Dad & Mum (= we have been through a lot this past year and I'm so thankful for the way they handled everything I throw at them. And that their love is unending.
Jared, Josh & Garrett (= For being my little punks I just cant live without (=
My Friends (= For being there for me in my time of need and doing you best for me even when I fight you...
My EXD Family(= I love you guys!
I love you all so very much (=
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Differences between Conservatives and Liberals
Differences between Conservatives and Liberals
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Denise Neufeld- My Pictures
These are sooo cool!! My shirt is bagy lol Im not that fat promise lol (= But these where alot of fun and turned out great!! Thank you Denise! YOU ROCK!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Shoes! *Ehh what can I say(shoulder shrug) I'm related to my mom*
LOL Some of these are crazy!! And I would more then like wear alot'm- lol but one of those kinda looks like its flasting *WANRING WANRING* lol stay away!! But some most of these are SWEET lol (= I'm in a crazy mood and this seemed to just fit my mood (= leave comments and tell me what you think!!! ((=
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